For a while I picked snippets of “bad” writing about games and posted them here. It was amusing, and made for easy updates, but I’ve decided not to continue doing it. By picking egregiously poor constructions or obvious typos, I shifted the discussion to one about following the rules of spelling and grammar– a component of good writing, to be sure, but certainly not the only one. Writing with no low-level structural flaws whatsoever can still be completely terrible. Additionally, I found that pointing out others’ bad writing gets some people indignant, who’d vengefully comb my own writing for errors (I try my best, but I doubt it could really stand such close attention). I did not want to be the Lynne Truss of game journalism. Even if everyone instantly had the clearest understanding of the difference between composed and comprised, for example, writing about games would not miraculously be better because of it.

“…the soldiers discover that the Helghast spirit is just as fierce on their home world than ever before…”

– IGN.com again.

(I can’t help myself— the whole review is full of constructions like this.)

“...I’ve discovered that my wife and I’s obsession isn’t an abnormality.”

–IGN.com.

Thanks to Jeriaska for the link.

(I resisted posting this for a while as I don’t really wish to become known primarily as the grammar cop of the game writing world, but it was just too snicker-worthy not to share.)

“While never quite proving itself as the penultimate virtual rock experience, Guitar Hero: World Tour is a blast in its own right...”

– GamePro on Guitar Hero World Tour.

Thanks due to Mitch Krpata for the link.

“There aren't many different buildings to destroy, either, so you end up seeing the same thing explosions and over again.”

–GameSpot.

“The game follows students at an academy whose peaceful lives are overturned after their country's boarders are invaded.”

–Kotaku.

“To be certain, this is the penultimate hardcore game.”

– GameShark on Metal Gear Solid 4.

Thanks due to Adam Siry for the link.

“Free Radical are known for producing top-notch first-person shooters (see Timesplitters and Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter), so it should come as no surprise their latest endeavor is in the same genre.”

– Gamer’s Hell.

Update: Since corrected on the site. You’ll have to take my word for it.

“We’ll be flying four finalists out to our studio in San Francisco to compete for a $1000 in prizes!”

“Here’s your the chance to show off your skill in team-based military combat.”

“Only two squads will make it to the Finals! These two forces will be pitted against each other in the Finals.”

“Tune in to find out which team earns the Purple Heart, and which is laid to waste.”

- all from GameSpot Tournament descriptions

I will understand if the reader doesn’t believe me when I say that I originally started this site to be serious. But you must trust your correspondent when he explains that sometimes an author feels he just hasn’t got any choice. And so I hope you will indulge me while I talk a little bit about The Escapist and its very odd pull-quotes.

The whole point of pull-quotes is to draw a hypothetical reader – imagine him impatiently flipping through the pages of a magazine while waiting for the dentist or for his plane to reach cruising altitude – into actually reading an article by highlighting a key point, an interesting fact or simply an intriguing turn of phrase. The point is not to stump the reader, nor is it to make him not interested in the article. Right?

Time to get back in the swing of things with an article regrettably cited by Kotaku and GameSetWatch entitled, “Does Portal’s Success Presage Game Industry Shift?” In this bizarre piece, a writer on the game industry admits he has no sales data, cites no budget information, then suddenly makes the claim that Portal's “profit margin is easily better than AAA hardcore titles that require tens of millions to develop...” Huh?

“The videogame industry has literally never had a year like 2007.”

–Next Generation.

“In looking to the future, we inevitably look to the past as a guide.”

–GameDaily.

“Listen, writing is hard.”

–The Escapist.

“I’m convinced that video games are Japan’s stealth strategy to turn our kids’ brains into silly putty as payback for dropping the big one on Hiroshima... The trouble began last summer when my sons started spending virtually every unsupervised hour camped out in front of the computer screen engaged in multiplayer role games like World of Warcraft and Counterstrike.”

– The Wall Street Journal (editorial).

“It hooks kids when their young.”

– Kotaku.

“The first half of Assassin’s Creed is a truly clairvoyant experience. You’ve never played anything like it. The sagacious story, incalculable crowd interaction, and unprecedented freedom to traverse the environment how you choose are landmark moments.”

– GameTrailers.com.

“As is evident from the name, Space Siege will take place in space.”

– GameSpot (yes, again).

“Dead Space is a horror-themed survival-horror game set in space.”

– GameSpot.