Neurons and glial cells held a rally today in order to bring attention to their controversial plan to fundamentally re-shape the way the body is constructed.

Their proposal calls for a massive new type of processing center, dubbed “the brain”: essentially a drastically enlarged and significantly more complex version of the clusters of nerve cells that run bodies today. They claim that this dramatic expansion would provide untold benefits– from the ability to quickly analyze massive amounts of data to the capability to formulate logical models of the world around us.

But this highly ambitious plan would come at a steep price: staggering energy requirements, a difficult gestation process and no immediate guarantee that it will make existence any easier or more understandable. The proposal has been sharply criticized by constituents of other organs, such as the powerful endocrine lobby, who have ridiculed the idea as “preposterous” and characterized it as an expensive waste of money.

According to its critics, neurons’ use of resources is already excessive, and any further appropriation of the body’s energy would handicap other, more important systems. And commentators have pointed out what they see as fatal flaws in the plan: for example, that the relatively delicate construction of the so-called brain leaves it prone to damage.

Backers of the brain project have responded with the suggestion for a bony outer structure, called a “skull”, they say would protect the brain from all but the most concussive impacts. Ironically, though, this has increased the proposed budget for the brain even more. Though they continue to claim that the benefits of the brain’s processing power would more than make up for the tremendous expense, advocates for the brain face a difficult road ahead in making their dreams a reality.

“It’s a Catch-22,” said one glial cell, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “You want everyone to imagine the possibilities– but they can’t really do that without, you know, a brain.”

As some know, I contribute a small amount of snark to Game Developer Magazine. These pieces are occasionally posted online at Gamasutra as well. Before you ask: no, nothing in it is about you.

Dubious Pitches.

Hard News.

Genuinely thoughtful commentary on video games doesn’t come by all the time, and how much the rarer is the emergence of a truly worthy and unique voice. So when Rachael Webster, an aspiring writer stagnating at a menial job at a small and mostly unknown city newspaper, first took up the pen for her blog in the fall of last year, she quickly found herself amongst enthusiastic supporters and a welcoming community. PixelVixen707, as she called herself, brought a sharp-tongued but winsome pluck to the conversation about games, along with unusual, sometimes genuinely surprising, insights. Rounding out the program was an occasional note about her personal life— and that is where things fell off the rails a little bit.

Marco sighed, eyes transfixed on the reflections off the chrome of a mixing bowl. The pâtisserie was not doing very well lately and unless he got a couple big jobs soon he might have to consider the possibility of going back to the hotel, hat in hand– of all the cruel fates.

A bell rang towards the front of the store, and Marco looked up to see a man in his early thirties who must have been on his way to work. He wore an off-the-rack business suit that hung off his shoulders awkwardly, the fabric bunching up at the edges. Marco knew the type: old enough to be in charge of things and young enough to have faith in his adulthood.

“I’m in the market for a custom cake,” said the man. “And I hear this is the place to come to get one. Could you tell me about what I’d pay?”